Where God has been?

2020 shocked and shook everyone. Nobody was ready and no one had seen COVID-19 coming. Plans were #Cancelledt. People stayed at home the longest in the history. With the world economy beyond unstable, suicide rate doubled comparing to the previous years, panic and fear of the unknown filled the globe as the pandemic hit - it's safe to assume that most people - believers and doubters must have already asked, "Where God has been?".

I, too asked, pondered and wondered the same. Being a Christian for quite some time, the quarantine season took me to a deeper journey of finding the Father's heart. My theology of God included an understanding that something as worse can and still actually happen even in the midst of His sovereignty because this world is fallen and broken. Speaking of which, I too had my fair share of personal sufferings and in those painful moments, one thing I have learned that God would never fail to show up to any of my situations and offer me His peace. I have experienced His comfort firsthand. Yet, I can't help but still found my head confused and felt shaken inside while putting up an "okay" face. It took me a month to let the new reality sink in. As much as I would love to say that "all is well", I was disturbed. Where has the good good God I knew been?

Since the lockdown, I've been asking for His answers. I was expectant to be enlightened. I prayed for answers. I seized the bible and even watched some Youtube videos about what the church worldwide had been discerning and unexpectedly found some testimonies from various age range about Jesus' second coming in a handful of dreams and visions! haha! I'm in no way laughing in unbelief but I now just find my response so desperate and a little funny.

And speaking of vision, I vividly remember receiving one in April last year. I was about to nap when I actually felt impressed by God to worship. Still in the bed, with eyes closed, earphones on, worship playing - like a screen in my head - I then saw an image of Jesus in His white robe, He was so big and He hugged the entire world. He's visiting the nations in most tangible ways. And I felt Him crying with those who are in pain, in anguish, in confusion, in suffering. He's with us. He never left. That's what I saw. I felt more than overwhelmed. I was beyond wrecked to see that image. And felt His deep longing for the world. He never left. He's been there with us.

He's with us. Ever since that encounter, His peace and His presence has been my sweet assurance. It's been a year since the announcement of lockdown and true enough, we may not exactly know the entirety of God's greater narrative out of this pandemic yet we can choose to believe that His love and care for us is here to stay. 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Psalm 46: 10-11 “Be still, and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!” The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah